Finally.

No, you do not have to pinch yourselves. It is an update. Finally? I know. Things started to get really hectic and I finally found myself studying towards the end of the year, which explains my absence. SPM is now a part of my past, well, except for when the results come out next week. It can actually make or break my future, so keep your fingers crossed, people.

Updates, updates.

December 23rd.
Went shopping in midvalley, got two amazing dresses as prezzies. Thanks, love!

December 25th.
I now realize we didnt wish each other merry christmas. Ah, well.

December 30th.
It was our first anniversary. =]

Skipping January.

Skip.

Skip.

February.

Kenneth came over to stay.
Had loads of fun, seriously.

Valentine's day.
We did it our way. No fancy dinners, no overdone hullabaloo. We kept it sweet and simple. No elaboration.

Today.
I'm bored, so I've decided to revive this desolate blog.


Stats.
1. I'm giving tuition these days.
2. I havent learnt how to drive.
3. I'm freaking out over the fact that the SPM results are being released next freakin week.
4. Thats about it.


Till next time, bloggerito. Adios.

There should'nt be conflict.

I love you.

I'll never love another the same way.

I shouldnt have to choose between you and my sister, simply because she's my sister.

I know she's be a pain but she's my sister.

And yet, strangely, I know I'd choose you if I had to.

She has my parents to fall back on.

I dont.

You're all I have.

You're all I want.

Oh God. I just came back from camp and it was really tiring.

Here's the list of activities.

Building a raft.

Jungle tracking.

Morning walk. [ 2 km ]

Repairing broken bridges.

Going through an obstacle course, army style.

Using the raft to cross the swimming pool.

Walking uphill again to complete the 4th task, the booby traps.

It was really tiring man.

I'm sore all over.

My legs are bruised like hell cos I fell from the hanging tyres in the obstacle course.

I had numbing spray on my arm coz I pulled a muscle.

Got bitten by a leech.

Had a bloody goose chase me.

After everything, it was a real experience.

Thank God I'm alive.

.a.m.y.

apologies.

I am extremely sorry about this abandoned blog. I didnt mean to forget about it but in with all the recent happenings, this just slipped my mind.



SO. New updates.

1. I'm a little thinner than I was. Cheekbones are jutting out. Mums screaming at me to eat.

2. This Christmas, God heard my prayers and granted me love. Enough said.

3. I have officially stopped growing. Dont know why.

4. I'm very, very stressed out. Even the school hols doesnt feel like THE HOLS. Extreme amounts of homework, up and coming exams, seminars to attend, tuition classes, football matches and etc, etc. I'll be attending a 10 hour seminar in UM on sunday. I cant sit still for an hour, dont know how the hell I'm gonna get through this. There's an education fair in mid valley tommorow. I think I'll go. Maybe. But its gonna be crowded. I dont like crowded places.

5. I have finally decided that medical/physiotherapy will be what I'm heading for. But I'll still write. Probably in columns or something. Dont wanna let my grandma know that she won. She wants me to be a doctor. I told her I'll never be one.

6. My grandpa went through his second operation to remove his cancer growth successfully.

7. My mum will be admitted soon to get steroids jabbed into her back to widen the gap between the nerves coz she's suffering from slipped disc and her L4, L5 is the affected area.

8. These past two fridays, both on the 13th, have been miserable. I fell on my ass in nirvana, which is in the centre of bangsar on the 13th of feb. Today, I pissed my mum off, and she hasnt come back from the drive she took to calm herself.

9.This increasing pressure is getting to my head. I know I can handle a certain amount, but what if it gets too much. my parents are in no way pushing me at all. All they said was, 'make us proud'. Err, ok. Once I figure out how.

10. I have finally learnt how to play man bai on the guitar. Finally.


Thats it, I guess. Dont know what else to say. Damn tired. Didnt sleep this whole week.

Oh yeah, I love John Legend's new song, 'everybody knows'. Damn nice. Been singing it all week.

Ciao, for now.

A christmas carol.

Dear blog,


On sunday there was a Christmas party in my church. It was really fun. Really. We got there around 12.30 and all the bouncy things were set up already. There was a bouncing castle and also a horizontal bungee jumping thing. But only on this one, you run instead of jump. Pretty fun. But I, the freakin genius, wore a dress. My mom told me wear something red or white. So I wore a dress with some red design at the bottom. And when I got there the dress code was like pants and a red or white top for all the helpers. I was like MUMMY!..I went there to help out the Youths with the game stalls and I ended up with Klinsmann, Adrian, Dino, Jeremy and Marques in the basketball stall. It was really fun coz I was the only girl and I didnt have to do any work other than sit there and look like a life-sized doll. Thats what they called me. LOL. I was bloody pissed coz I somehow just could not manage to get the damn ball into the hoop. So frustating. And then it rained donkeys and cows. Seriously freakin heavy. And it was the funniest sight in the world. Two clowns came and one of them was on stilts. Since the floor was slippery, they held hands. It looked seriously funny. It was like a pair of gay clowns. And we all went like, Awwww. Damn funny.



So yeah, most of the time was spent talking to people. Very fun. And I got home freakin tired. After taking off all my makeup, I realised I had a birthday party to go to, and I had to put it all back on. Damn it. I went there looking like a zombie.


Till next time.

amylynn.rebecca.nathan.

FFF.

Well, almost everyone knows I'm a football freak who is so in love with Chelsea. To hell with you Gunners and Reds and Devils. Especially the Devils. Ish. Yeah, well what everyone doesnt know is that I am also like a really emotional and passionate fan. Die hard gila. I'm not just some girl who-likes-Chelsea-coz-they-wanna-get-close-to-the-guy-they-like kinda girl. I'm not. I've been a huge fan of CFC since I was eight. First football match I watched to the full was when Chelsea beat those Wolverhamptons 5-0. I loved their football. Honestly, I just did. My dad was grooming me to be an Arsenal and Bayern Munich fan but I took a different path. I guess one of the reasons I love football is coz my dad loves it, and he sees my passion for football as the son he never had. I dont even know if that makes sense.

Yeah, well, internationally though, I'm horribly split up. I have always loved the Netherlands. They play awesome football. My favourite player has to be Gio van Bronkhorst. He is just awesome. And, yeah, as said above, I'm a really emotional fan. When Germany lost to Italy 2-0, the amount I cried was just undescribable. I cried at home and when I went to school I cried some more. My dad had to come and bring me home early from school. It was crazy. Same thing happened when Portugal beat Holland 1-0. The amount of cards that were flashed during that game was insane. Someone should have sent off the referee. Seriously, the netherlands were left with 9 players and Portugal had Deco and Costinha sent off. That was one crazy game man. Should have been null and void. Stupid referee. Ish. The netherlands had like 70 % possesion. And yet they lost. Larh. but guess who scored?! Maniche. Chelsea unya orang. Aiyoo. Conflicted betul larh.


Enough. Tears are welling up again.


Like I said. Emo punya orang. No play-play when it comes to football. I dont give a shit if I have eyebags the size of manhattan the next day but I'll still watch my champions league matches. Even when I had my mid terms I was still watching football and sitting for my exams in a half zombie-state. I'm just weird that way. I remember football facts better than I remember history facts. I know. I'm a freak.


And yeah, by the way, FFF is not the France thingy but it actually stands for Freakin Football Freak. Thats what my mom calls me when I wake up to watch matches in the wee hours of the morning. =]

Matrimony sucks.

So, I have good news and bad news. First, the good news, we're landing immediately. Bad news is, we're crash landing.


I'm gonna post the good news and the bad news.



Good News - There's probably gonna be a wedding coming.
Bad news - My grandma wants it to be mine.

Good news - Its illegal.
Bad news - She doesnt care.

Good news - She hasnt found someone.
Bad news - She's looking.


Enough.


So, yesterday we went to KLCC. Jerome came as well. [ You wouldnt believe how many ppl think he's my boyfriend. He's not] We had lunch and then we went to watch madagascar 2. It was freakin funny. Couldnt stop laughing. Chris Rock is just amazing. And foofie, the blanket, so adorable. It was pretty fun.After that we went to my grandma's house for her b'day. Forgot to bring my camera, whoopsie daisy. Then after dinner we went for the Christmas cantata practice. It was a total disaster. From my point of view, that is. I was havin a superly bad hair day. Then my voice cracked in the middle of my solo for everyone to hear. So freakin embarassing. And then, I got scolded for talking. And then, nvm. Not gonna post it here. But I think that part pissed me off the most. Nothing to do, dont come. Thats all I'm gonna say.


So yeah. If you find a good future candidate, kill him. And dont tell my grandma.


Sigh.
Miss Independant.

I dont wanna change the world.

I feel like dying. I've got nothing to do. I think its the lack of sleep but it might just be more than that. Its been days since I last talked to you and I hate the fact that I left the conversation just hanging. I didnt acknowledge you later that evening and I feel even worse about it. I'm sorry. I know I should have but I was really, really stressed up and I was afraid that if I talked to you I would have released my anger on you. I lose my temper more and more easily these days. It scares me. You see right through me and I was shaken at how accurate you were. I dont want you to know that you scared me by seeing who I really was on the inside. I dont want you to know that I miss you. I do. I miss talking to you and I miss falling off my chair while laughing at your ridiculous jokes. I just miss you. I'm sorry. I feel like shit. Now will you forgive me? I seriously feel trapped up. Like I cant breathe. Like my airways are closing up. I hate this feeling. I dont know what it is and that scares me more. Do me a favour. Please. You have to stop hating yourself. Maybe then you'll see, that it can get better, if only you'd try. It not gonna be easy. But I'm here for you every step of the way. I'm not perfect and at times, I wont know how to make you feel better. But just knowing that you're there, helps. If everyone else takes you as a joke, I take you seriously. If everyone else thinks you're worthless, I think you're worth more than all of them put together. If anyone thinks you're better of dead, I'd make sure they're dead. I'd do this. And everything I say is not said to make you feel better, its to remind you that you mean something and the fact that you're always there is priceless. Thanks for being a great friend. You make it real for me. The lyrics to this song matches my life. Perfectly.

Its never really over till its over.

Thanks.

You've always kept me rooted to the ground, instead of buried six-feet under it.