Anger management.

Dear Superman,


I smile. I laugh. But on the inside I am dying.


When will I realise that being superficial is only a short term solution to my troubles.



Hey Betty, you are beautiful.
Just felt like typing that.
The song is in my head.





I made history in school today. I scored the lowest marks in add maths. How do you think my mom is gonna react huh?...Shes gonna say, ' Is it possible, no seriously, can anyone be this stupid?'...And then I'm gonna lose my temper and stamp my feet and run somewhere. And this is where my guitar comes in. I release my anger on my guitar so much so it has scratches and marks everywhere. This is why I need a new guitar for Christmas.


:] Please?




Talking about temper tantrums, I lost my temper badly yesterday. Quite a long time since I did. I'm the kind of person who takes whatever you throw at me. Insults, criticism, and even an occasional punch or kick from my sister. But once you piss me off, and taunt me about it, you're dead. Just like that I flare up and either I start throwing things or I hit you. And hit you hard.



So yesterday, my sister decided to piss me off. She had tuition at 8 o'clock but she wanted to watch the devil wears prada for the gazillionth time. I told her no and dragged her to the table. So she had her tuition and I watched tv. When she finished at like 9.25, she came and said she wanted to watch. I said no coz I was in the middle of watching the amazing race asia. Then she started the waterworks. She was cring so loudly on the other couch that I got irritated and told her to shut the hell up. She didnt and went to call my parents to complain. They were out, mind you. When they told her to let me watch till the end, she slammed the phone down and started banging the phone on the table. That again irritated me slightly. I told her to shut up again. Then when it was a commercial break, I went to get my pillow from the room and she idiotically sat on the couch and started watching. I decided I was gonna let her watch anyway, so I didnt say a thing. Then she pisses me off by kicking me when I went to take my pillow from the couch. She thought I was going for the remote. Then she said, you deserve it moron. And kicks me again. [This is where I lose my temper.] I calmly put my pillows down, [they're innocent pillows], and then I give her a sharp whack across her leg. She remains defiant and pulls a face. I clench her jaw....


To be continued.

Keep them safe.

Dear blog,

Do you think I should sit for the rest of my finals?

Blog - Yes.
Amy - But I dont feel like sitting for it.
Blog - Then dont.
Amy - Do you think my 'rents will become hysterical and swing a chair at me if I dont?
Blog - Yes.
Amy - Then what do I do?
Blog - Duck.
Amy - Thanks for the advice.
Blog - Sure.



Blogging when you've taken 'stupid pills' just might not work out very well.


I learnt the hard way.


Ok. I'm gonna talk about my finals.

So you see, my school, the extremely smart school, decided to break the finals into two phases. Phase one started on the 13th of October and ended on the 17th of October. The exams will resume two weeks later which is when phase 2 starts. It will go on from the 3rd of November till the last day of school. Sucky, isnt it?..


Among the papers we sat for in Phase 1 were Chem 3, Moral, English, BM, EST, Maths and Add freaking maths.

Among all those papers, I only concentrated on 4, Chem, BI, BM, Est. The rest shall rest in peace. It is so dead. So dead.



But after all thats said and done, WHO GIVES A DAMN?....I'm gonna be in the same class, same classmates. Like I said, who cares?...


I do not know where this part of me has emerged from but all I know is I am feeling extremely rebellious these days. Trouble is a part of me. Lets pray it doesnt extend till next year.

Fun Activities next year :

1] SPM. [Bluek]
2] Driver's licence. [Liberation, finally]
3] PLKN. [I dont wanna go!]
4] 17th B'day. [Age is catching up with me] [Botox, please]
5] Graduation. [I dont wanna leave high school]
6] Prom night. [Marks the end of SPM, hurrah]
7] Christmas. [Prezzies!] [I want one from every reader]



I cant believe how fast this year has gone past. Time really flew at turbo speed. I cant imagine life without seeing the besties everyday. It's crazily depressing but yet intriguing as well. I ponder my future. Should I stay? Should I leave? Will I be homesick? Will I regret staying?..



I tell you what. I'll leave it up to the one who knows best. Yes, God, You know who I'm referring to.



After all, He's got me here and I'm still in one piece. Just keep going, God. You're doing great.

And I pray you'll be alright, my little princess.

No one will touch you when I'm around.

I promise you that.

No one.




I pray that everyone around me will still be around even when I'm gone.

I dont think I'll be able to cope with anyone leaving me again.

Please, dont go.

Keep them safe in your sight, Lord.




These are my prayers. Answer them, I pray.

I treasure each and everyone of you in my heart. Yes, you too.

I'll never forget you.






My heart is pounding so hard that it deafens me.


Amy. The Actress, in her own life.

16.

Voila. I'm back. Its been a while.

So yeah. I had my sweet sixteenth party the other day and since this was a family function the guest list was pretty long. The attire for the night was either a football jersey or floral shorts. I was really, really happy coz everyone turned up according to the theme. I didnt think they would. It was so awesome. Except for the part when the MU fans who wore their jersey started singing 'Glory, glory Man United'. That sucked. Ah well, Chelsea's top so, no worries. And yeah, here are a few of the pics taken.











My cake. Nice, huh?
















Me and my youngest uncle.

Me, smashing cake into my sisters face. Fun!

Owww.

I wanna go to the City of Lights! I shall one day and that day is eagerly awaited. Sorry, just out of the blue right.


Lets hit it off.


I did not go to school today as I had other things in mind. I was supposed to be resting at home but in the end my day was so hectic I might have done less in school after all. I went to the police station early to collect the results to the police report my mum launched after her accident. A whole other story which shall be explained another day. Well anyways, we were not fined and instead the other guy had to pay. Then we went to bangsar for lunch. Then my mum and I went shopping in all the little boutique's in Bangsar.

Love them shops. Tried on a gazillion dresses. Did not like any. Hid behind one shelf coz I saw my agent in a shop and I was supposed to be ill at home. yikes!....Then I went to do threading and I cried so much the lady actually laughed at me. It was so freaking painful.Trust me, you should not try it. Then we went to my aunty's house for tea and she laughed and laughed at me. After all the jesting aimed at me, I went home and took it out on my guitar. I'm kinda caught up with the song sempurna and leaving on a jetplane. These two songs sound really good on the guitar. Then annoyed my sister and fell asleep on my pile of clothes on the bed. I was picking out what to wear for a function. =]



Ah well. I better get going. My whole forehead is so freaking sore. I hate it. Never gonna do threading again. not if you paid me a million bucks. NEVER.



Ciao.

Amy.

Whoa...its been really long since I last updated...geez..old lady must have forgotten all about her blog...


I think I have forgotten how to blog....lol..well nothing much has changed...I'm still me...I still skip classes...I have yet to score an A in add maths...I have quit UBS...I'm clubless...I...I better stop writing like this...



Lets start over...today was pretty fun in class...we laughed non-stop and my jaw is still pretty sore from that tennis ball, [jase]..all on you...next time aim for the ground instead of my face...even though we had all our teachers in class it was still a pretty memorable day...my bag strap broke and I had to carry it on one shoulder....Jean and I laughed our heads off when Annesha entered the sejarah class..she was like dancing infront there instead of giving a reason as to why she was late to class...so freakin hilarious...very, very fun day...came back and watched P.S I love you for the 200th time..I've memorised all the lines already...I love that show...After that they wanted to watch that stupid superhero movie but I didnt watch..its too stupid...I seriously cannot wait to watch dark knight...we're goin to times square for Daphne's b'day party and we might go bowling, or neway or dark knight but we're not sure yet...



Well thats all for now I guess,

Till next time.


P.S. I love me.

Father's day.

This father's day was pretty uneventful actually. My cousins came around and all the father's cut up and destroyed the beautiful chocolate mud cake from secret recipe. I was actually pretty pensieve throughtout this whole father's day. I think it had something to do with the face that I was recovering from a hurting heart. It was caused by my dad. His godson gave him a bouquet of flowers and I didnt get him anything. but thats only coz we were so busy this whole weekend. I actually wanted to take him out to dinner but he said that this weekend was too crammed. But thats not my main point. The reason I'm hurting is coz my dad turned around and said to me, I quote, 'Even my godson can get me something, but my daughters?'...This hurt me so bad. I didnt talk to him the entire journey home from church. How could he say that?...he was the one who refused a gift and said we didnt have to get him anything, but when we want to do something, he refuses and we get the blame. This hurts, man.

As I run my fingers through your hair, I am reminded of what used to be.






Peace,
Amy.

Emoed up.

Just let me hold you while we are falling apart.



Yesterday and today have gone past in a blink. The results that came back were as expected, horrifying. But what truly pissed me off was HER comment about my absence in class. Hell. I've been attending all her classes ever since she made that snide comment about me not being in her class. How could she?..She actually expressed her surprise concerning me presence. What the hell was that all about?....So so pissing off. And her stupid lectures were obviously aimed at me.


Some of its just transcendental. Some of its just really dumb.


Enough about HER.





But I, I love it when you read to me. And you, you can read me anything.



The hols were kinda subdued coz I didnt go out much. Except to Bangsar. Everyday. I dont really wanna talk about it.



The book of love has music in it. In fact, thats where music comes from.


I have to make a really huge decision. Its pretty much eating me from the inside. But I cannot take it anymore. Its UBS. I am supposed to go for my Kursus Peningkatan this weekend but I really cant coz I've got a 21st birthday and also an engagement to attend. Not only that, I will also be missing my tuition at Subash which is really important. I have to do it. I have to quit. I know that some people will be really disappointed that I have given up so easily on UBS but there are underlying issues that have yet to be resolved. I dont think it will ever be. But to those whom I have let down, I am sorry but maybe this isnt what I was made for. This decision was made and taken action against with painstaking thinking. Maybe it isnt the best solution but, hey, who knows whats right and wrong. I'm sorry.




The book of love is long and boring. And written very long ago. Its full of flowers and heart shaped boxes and things we're all too young to see.





And I, I love it when you give me things. And you, you are to give me wedding rings.





Till we meet again.

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