Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A christmas carol.

Dear blog,


On sunday there was a Christmas party in my church. It was really fun. Really. We got there around 12.30 and all the bouncy things were set up already. There was a bouncing castle and also a horizontal bungee jumping thing. But only on this one, you run instead of jump. Pretty fun. But I, the freakin genius, wore a dress. My mom told me wear something red or white. So I wore a dress with some red design at the bottom. And when I got there the dress code was like pants and a red or white top for all the helpers. I was like MUMMY!..I went there to help out the Youths with the game stalls and I ended up with Klinsmann, Adrian, Dino, Jeremy and Marques in the basketball stall. It was really fun coz I was the only girl and I didnt have to do any work other than sit there and look like a life-sized doll. Thats what they called me. LOL. I was bloody pissed coz I somehow just could not manage to get the damn ball into the hoop. So frustating. And then it rained donkeys and cows. Seriously freakin heavy. And it was the funniest sight in the world. Two clowns came and one of them was on stilts. Since the floor was slippery, they held hands. It looked seriously funny. It was like a pair of gay clowns. And we all went like, Awwww. Damn funny.



So yeah, most of the time was spent talking to people. Very fun. And I got home freakin tired. After taking off all my makeup, I realised I had a birthday party to go to, and I had to put it all back on. Damn it. I went there looking like a zombie.


Till next time.

amylynn.rebecca.nathan.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

FFF.

Well, almost everyone knows I'm a football freak who is so in love with Chelsea. To hell with you Gunners and Reds and Devils. Especially the Devils. Ish. Yeah, well what everyone doesnt know is that I am also like a really emotional and passionate fan. Die hard gila. I'm not just some girl who-likes-Chelsea-coz-they-wanna-get-close-to-the-guy-they-like kinda girl. I'm not. I've been a huge fan of CFC since I was eight. First football match I watched to the full was when Chelsea beat those Wolverhamptons 5-0. I loved their football. Honestly, I just did. My dad was grooming me to be an Arsenal and Bayern Munich fan but I took a different path. I guess one of the reasons I love football is coz my dad loves it, and he sees my passion for football as the son he never had. I dont even know if that makes sense.

Yeah, well, internationally though, I'm horribly split up. I have always loved the Netherlands. They play awesome football. My favourite player has to be Gio van Bronkhorst. He is just awesome. And, yeah, as said above, I'm a really emotional fan. When Germany lost to Italy 2-0, the amount I cried was just undescribable. I cried at home and when I went to school I cried some more. My dad had to come and bring me home early from school. It was crazy. Same thing happened when Portugal beat Holland 1-0. The amount of cards that were flashed during that game was insane. Someone should have sent off the referee. Seriously, the netherlands were left with 9 players and Portugal had Deco and Costinha sent off. That was one crazy game man. Should have been null and void. Stupid referee. Ish. The netherlands had like 70 % possesion. And yet they lost. Larh. but guess who scored?! Maniche. Chelsea unya orang. Aiyoo. Conflicted betul larh.


Enough. Tears are welling up again.


Like I said. Emo punya orang. No play-play when it comes to football. I dont give a shit if I have eyebags the size of manhattan the next day but I'll still watch my champions league matches. Even when I had my mid terms I was still watching football and sitting for my exams in a half zombie-state. I'm just weird that way. I remember football facts better than I remember history facts. I know. I'm a freak.


And yeah, by the way, FFF is not the France thingy but it actually stands for Freakin Football Freak. Thats what my mom calls me when I wake up to watch matches in the wee hours of the morning. =]

Friday, December 5, 2008

Matrimony sucks.

So, I have good news and bad news. First, the good news, we're landing immediately. Bad news is, we're crash landing.


I'm gonna post the good news and the bad news.



Good News - There's probably gonna be a wedding coming.
Bad news - My grandma wants it to be mine.

Good news - Its illegal.
Bad news - She doesnt care.

Good news - She hasnt found someone.
Bad news - She's looking.


Enough.


So, yesterday we went to KLCC. Jerome came as well. [ You wouldnt believe how many ppl think he's my boyfriend. He's not] We had lunch and then we went to watch madagascar 2. It was freakin funny. Couldnt stop laughing. Chris Rock is just amazing. And foofie, the blanket, so adorable. It was pretty fun.After that we went to my grandma's house for her b'day. Forgot to bring my camera, whoopsie daisy. Then after dinner we went for the Christmas cantata practice. It was a total disaster. From my point of view, that is. I was havin a superly bad hair day. Then my voice cracked in the middle of my solo for everyone to hear. So freakin embarassing. And then, I got scolded for talking. And then, nvm. Not gonna post it here. But I think that part pissed me off the most. Nothing to do, dont come. Thats all I'm gonna say.


So yeah. If you find a good future candidate, kill him. And dont tell my grandma.


Sigh.
Miss Independant.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I dont wanna change the world.

I feel like dying. I've got nothing to do. I think its the lack of sleep but it might just be more than that. Its been days since I last talked to you and I hate the fact that I left the conversation just hanging. I didnt acknowledge you later that evening and I feel even worse about it. I'm sorry. I know I should have but I was really, really stressed up and I was afraid that if I talked to you I would have released my anger on you. I lose my temper more and more easily these days. It scares me. You see right through me and I was shaken at how accurate you were. I dont want you to know that you scared me by seeing who I really was on the inside. I dont want you to know that I miss you. I do. I miss talking to you and I miss falling off my chair while laughing at your ridiculous jokes. I just miss you. I'm sorry. I feel like shit. Now will you forgive me? I seriously feel trapped up. Like I cant breathe. Like my airways are closing up. I hate this feeling. I dont know what it is and that scares me more. Do me a favour. Please. You have to stop hating yourself. Maybe then you'll see, that it can get better, if only you'd try. It not gonna be easy. But I'm here for you every step of the way. I'm not perfect and at times, I wont know how to make you feel better. But just knowing that you're there, helps. If everyone else takes you as a joke, I take you seriously. If everyone else thinks you're worthless, I think you're worth more than all of them put together. If anyone thinks you're better of dead, I'd make sure they're dead. I'd do this. And everything I say is not said to make you feel better, its to remind you that you mean something and the fact that you're always there is priceless. Thanks for being a great friend. You make it real for me. The lyrics to this song matches my life. Perfectly.



Its never really over till its over.
Thanks.
You've always kept me rooted to the ground, instead of buried six-feet under it.

Video

The bloody video takes too freakin long to upload on blogspot so I posted it on youtube. Go watch ok. But right now youtube is doing some maintanence, but I'll do it soon.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Damn blogger.


Prema and the kid.



Jerome's bling. Was obsessed with it.



The kid and Jesslynn.



The Grandchildren.



The kids.


It was my grandma's B'day on Saturday and we had a party for her. Here are some pics. I dont have that many coz I was too busy having fun. =]





The kid with short hair and Samantha.




The same kid and Prema.

Its kinda blurred. I was shaking.




The kids who sang that day.
I sang too, but I'm not in there.
Coz I was taking the pic.

And you knew that.
So, I didnt have to explain that.
Hey, Amy? Shuddup.




Jerome and the kid.



Monica and the kid.






I'll upload the video some other time.


Freakin thing takes like 10 hours to feckin upload. Ish.

Its really, really shaky coz my sis is really skinny, so she was blown away by the speakers.

So while recording, she was singing. The off key part is her lah.

The nice sound is coming from yours truly.

=]

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Drastic measures.

Shite. I got my hair cut wayy to short again. Damn me. I suck at telling people what to do. The last time I ended up looking like a China Doll and now I look like my mum. Damn lah. I'll upload a couple of pics to prove my point. No one is allowed to laugh. Trust me. I'll know if you do. Hah.


The story behind the drastic cut.

I went to the shop that I always go to. I told the stylist that I wanted it to be shoulder length. Then the genius of a woman made it neck length. I was horrified. But she had already cut. There was nothing I could do to stop her. Then when she dried my hair, it actually looked kinda okay lah. But everyone was like, what did you do to your hair?! I was like, Erm, nothing much. Just chopped it off. Ish. Nevermind. It'll grow back.


Sigh.

It's geniuses like this that piss me off.


..amy..

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Ugly idiots.I had to. I'm sorry. NOT.

While I was listing the managers, a lightbulb flickered to life in my head. What if I make a list of the ugliest players in the EPL? Great thinking, I told myself. What a great way to get back at those MU fans out there.



1.

Carlos Tevez.

Looks freakin moronic.
Runs around the pitch for
no apparent reason.
Runs after players instead of the ball.


2.

Wayne Rooney.
Hot-tempered, foul-mouthed idiot.
Known for applauding referees.


3.

Edwin van Der Sar.
He's Dutch and pretty good.
Only coz he's Dutch.



4.

Rio Ferdinand.
Pretty good as well.
This is a fact.
But he's ugly.



5.


Gary Neville.
Spends half his life in the sidelines, injured.
Old crackpot.
His backpasses are dangerous.
Own goal pro.


Managed to do it.

4.

Meet Jose Mourinho.
He is a pain.
But he's hot.
And he managed Chelsea.


3.


This is Slaven Bilic.
He's younger than Jose.
And hotter.
The Croat who beat England.


2.


Josep Guardiola.
Manages Barcelona while looking hot.
Pretty young as well.


1.


Ok, ok.
I know you guys will be wondering why he's first.
Its coz he's stylish.
And smart.
And also coz I like Germany.

=]



Biased? I know.

So here's the list. Mr. LCC?..What next?





.amylynnrebeccanathan.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Coming soon.

Ok, since Mr. LCC is so convinced that his list of players are hotter than mine, I've decided to make a list of his hottest players. And also a list of the hottest managers. But this one, I'll do it my way.


Its gonna come soon. I promise. I've got no time today.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Allergies. Ish.

Shit man. That was one bad allergic reaction. My throat swelled up and I started to choke. Damn, bloody shellfish almost killed me.


Geez, I wish I didnt have this many allergies. I'm such a pain to look after. I'm surprised my mum didnt throw me out when I was a kid. She must have loved me a lot. Hmmm. I had allergies almost every week and had to be looked after very closely. Geez. That also explains all my near death experiences.


Recount.

Total allergy reactions = Countless.

Things I'm allergic to=

a] Dust
b] Red Bull
c] Prawns
d] Mushrooms
e] Certin preservatives
f] Belacan
g] Balloons
h] Plastic chairs
i ] Heinz baby food
j] Certain spices
k] Gold earrings


I cant think of anymore. But it will pop up. I'm kinda forgetful.


Near death experiences = 3.


I almost died twice from being hit by an oncoming vehicle while crossing the road. Ok, yeah, I'm blind. Once, I forgot to look right, left and right again [ or is it the other way round?..who cares], and almost got hit by a car. He swerved and almost hit a motorcycle next to him. So, I almost caused the death of another person as well. Another time was when I was crossing the road with my sis. She ran across and the car missed her but it nearly hit me when I ran after her. eez, the sound of the tyres screeching still haunts me sometimes. But she was really small that time, so I TRY not to put too much of the blame on her. It doesnt work most of the time, but hey at least I try.


Another time was when I had one of the worst allergic reactions in my life. I didnt eat prawns but my dad forgot to tell the lady not to put any prawns in my mee. When I got home, I was sitting in front of the computer and all of a sudden I couldnt freakin swallow. Then I realised it was getting harder to breathe. I ran to the kitchen to get my pills but I couldnt find them. I felt very hot and passed by the mirror to find myself so red in the face. Then I called my mum and she told me she had put a couple in my bag. I ran and found it and took 3 at once. I'm actually only supposed to take 1. But I was dying. You cant blame me for wanting to freakin live.


My mum rushed home and by then I was already sleeping on the couch. This antihistamine makes me really drowsy. So yeah, she checked if I had a pulse. Lol. I know. She totally overreacted. But I was breathing fine. Then she woke me up and asked me how many pills I had taken. When I told her 3 she scolded me and asked me whether I was trying to overdose. I was like, 'Ma, I almost died.' Then she was like,'You never do this again, you hear me.' And I said, 'well if thats the case you better tell Daddy to stop trying to kill me by putting prawns in my mee.' Lol.


And this is the story of how the world almost got rid of a public nuisance.


This is the conversation between me and my conscience.
Red is me. Blue is my conscience.


I wonder what it would be like if I werent here. I'm just curious.


Curiousity kills the cat, Amy.


Ok, ok. I wont be curious.


Great..Now get your ass of that seat and go and eat something.


I cant..I'm on a diet remember.


But your conscience is hungry.


Well, too bad.


You're one mean human. It sucks to be your conscience.


I know. Even my conscience doesnt want me.


You got that right.


Oh, shuddup.


.amylynnrebeccanathan is hereby certified temporarily insane.


.She should be back soon.

Friday, November 21, 2008

You with me?

So, today I went for choir practice. First we stopped to pick Jeremy up from the Caltex in Maju Jaya, then we went to have dinner at the chinese restaurant nearby. Then we headed to fetch Joshua and went straight to church. When we got there, we learnt that we had to climb up four floors to the classroom. Geez. Damn tired. Its been a long time since I climbed any form of stairs.


So yeah, well when we got there, not many ppl were there, so we just hung around. And then when the singing started, thats when the trouble begin. We did 5 songs already. Then during the third song, its called, 'hark the herald, angels sing', and yeah, this lady, outta no where, came and told us that the girls were overpowering the boys. So I got pretty pissed of lah. You come late, then you dont sing, and just stand around and criticise. Irri-freakin-tating. I rolled my eyes and her daughter saw. Then, she told her mum to stop it. Thank God. If she didnt I would have said, 'Hey woman, why dont you just go run along and form your own choir then.' Damn annoying. Another thing that pissed me off was that, she told the boys to maintain and the girls to shush a bit. There were 20 girls and 10 boys. They gotta sing louder lah. We cant whisper and sing coz the songs are so freakin high.



Ish. Stupid lady. Oh, yeah. And another thing irritated me but I'm just not gonna say it here. I know the person concerned reads this so...its censored.



I've got a cough now. Damn it. Ish.



oh yeah, I need to fit into a size two dress. Thanks to my mum, who bought it thinking her daughter was a freakin size two supermodel. I'm not. I normally go for size 4's so that I actually have room to breathe. So, to solve this dilemma of mine, I've gotta go on a crash diet. I've stopped eating. I didnt eat lunch today. Took two spoons of mee for dinner and ate two pringles. Thats it. And I allowed myself I square of white chocolate. Thats it. It should work. Excpt for the fact that I feel like dying, I'm good. All this excess weight is gonna be gone like the wind. =]



I hope.



Till next time, adios, amigo.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The soundtrack of my soul.

This song is my life, and trust me, I really mean it. I also know that it means a lot to other people too, so I'm not gonna claim it as mine.


I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you're far away dreaming.
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever,
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.


Don't want to close my eyes,
I don't want to fall asleep,
Cause I'd miss you baby,
And I don't want to miss a thing.
Cause even when I dream of you,
The sweetest dream will never do,
I'd still miss you baby,
And I don't want to miss a thing.


Lying close to you feeling your heart beating,
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,
Wondering if it's me you're seeing.
Then I kiss your eyes,
And thank God we're together.
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever,
Forever and ever.


Don't want to close my eyes,
I don't want to fall asleep,
Cause I'd miss you baby,
And I don't want to miss a thing.
Cause even when I dream of you,
The sweetest dream will never do,
I'd still miss you baby,
And I don't want to miss a thing.


I don't want to miss one smile.
I don't want to miss one kiss.
I just want to be with you,
Right here with you, just like this.
I just want to hold you close,
Feel your heart so close to mine,
And just stay here in this moment,
For all the rest of time.





I'll never love another song after this one. Its the soundtrack to my life.

A tribute to a new beginning.

Yesterday was the day when I finally learnt that I cannot talk about my grandpa without crying. Its just natural. I miss him too much. Its been 12 years since he has gone but it still feels like yesterday.


Being the youngest granddaughter, at that time, I was asked to place a single rose on his coffin before thay covered him up. They took a photo of me doing that. When I saw the photo recently, it just hit me really hard. That single white rose brought back memories that were buried deep within.


I should have taken one more last look at the coffin.
I should have smiled more and cried less when he was around.
I never should have made him tired by asking him to tell me so many stories.
I should have stayed long enough with him.
I shouldnt have run away to play with my cousins when they came over.
I should have been there when he said his last goodbye.
I should have been older.
I should have been stronger.
I should have thanked him for all the gifts he bought me.
I should have hugged him longer that Christmas.
I should have...





Its my fault.
Regrets.
There is no point to it but it is here to haunt every single soul that lives here on earth.
I just wanna start again.
I'm gonna take a chance.
I'm not gonna forget you, but I'm sure as hell gonna treasure every moment spent together.
I'm gonna start again.
But this time, I'll do it differently.
No more moaning about the time we wasted.
No more regrets.
I love you.
I miss you.
You'll always be in my heart.
This I promise you.
I'll cherish every moment spent with you.
I'm putting my regrets behind me.
Thanks for the memories.
.amy.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Its not easy to be me.

Hmm.. Have you ever had anyone pressure you to become someone you dont wanna be?


I'm going through it. Right now.



So, my great grandma thinks I should be a doctor because journalism is a feckin waste of time. So she says. She doesnt know how much it means to me. I finally have a passion, a desire to do something I'm really interested in, and then she says this. But then, why am I not surprised. Oh yeah. She does it all the time. It was my sister's first holy communion in church, its like a big event ok. For those who dont know. So yeah, for the mass I wore a lace red top, with a black tank top inside. It wasnt black, black. But when I came home, she narrowed her eyes at me and said, ''Amy its such a big day for your sister and yet you have to wear black.''


I'm not that naive.
I wont do as you wish, for servitude is not what I asked for when I came to this world.


Yeah, well its my sisters big feckin day, NOT MINE. Which part of that dont you get. And for the dinner, I purposely wore a black dress with dark eye shadow and stuff. She looked at me and shook her head, and I couldnt have cared less. Then she went to my mom, saying, ''Anne, what is this ah, why cant Amy wear a nice white dress or some bright and cheerful colour.'' My mom didnt say anything. Coz she knows what would happen if she agreed with my great grandma. I would have skipped the dinner entirely. Feckin irritating man. I dont wanna interfere lah. Its my sisters day, why should I wear white. Do you wear white for a wedding, no right. What the feckin hell is your problem. Not every single Tom, Dick and Harry is bright and cheerful all the feckin time ok. So happens that I dont wanna look like feckin Bozo the clown by wearing feckin bright colours.

I dont wanna be who you want me to be, damn it.


Ish. Damn pissing off. She ruined my entire night. And yeah, she feels, very strongly, mind you, that I should take biology, so that I can become a doctor. I didnt tell her that I took accounts this whole year coz I knew she would have said something. Not that I give a damn but its starting to get on my nerves. She wants me to be a feckin doctor. She said it has always been her dream to have a doctor in the family. Well, why cant someone else be the doctor?. Why must it always be me?. Why must I always be the scapegoat in all your evil feckin plans that you think up endlessly while sitting and moaning about your pathetic life. Argh. I'm sick and tired already lah. If only I didnt love my great grandpa so much, I would have enjoyed telling her that not every moron in the world desires to be a doctor.


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.



Didnt work. I'm still pissed off. Geez. Now, I'm gonna go piss her off my dragging my feet when I walk. She hates that. Muahahahahahahha. Then I'm gonna sing some song with all foul words in it. The, I'm gonna slurp as I drink my soup. Then I'm gonna hunch while walking. And then, last but not least, I'm gonna sit like a lazy sloth and slide down the chair. Sigh. Now, I'm happy.


Ciao.
.amylynnrebelliousnathan.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Crazy bugger.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
How can it be the last day of school?!
I havent had enough fun yet!
No!!
Rewind!
I demand a replay!
Yesterday was the last day of school for the year 2008. We have just retired from being fourth formers and it was really tough to hand over our post as junior seniors. I cant believe we're gonna be 17 next year. Holy crap. It hit me real hard yesterday when I realised that in only 12 months, that 52 weeks, that 365 days, excluding this year, and we will be leaving our high school life behind us.
Holy Majolie! Its hard to imagine not entering the class every morning and then walking out when a teacher walks in. Do you notice that we sometimes forget to say hi to our frinds when we arrive in school? But after we leave school, when we reunite, I'm pretty sure everyone of us will say hi. And the goodbyes will be even longer. Sigh.
The evolutionary twist. I'm not really into it. I dont wanna leave school. I'll miss annoying the juniors, walking around like as though we own the place. That was fun. Tonnes of memories are embedded in this school. This is where we spend half our lives as kids and as teenagers. Yikes, let me stay, please, I beg of you!
Ok. This is one pathetic post. I'd be leaving this blog, if I were you.
Coz the publisher is one hell of a nutcase.
.amylynnrebeccanathan.

Monday, November 10, 2008

I'm still alive but barely breathing.

I totally love this song. But I kinda tweaked the words here and there. Its not the exact version.



I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while he's got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
His best days will be some of my worst
He finally met a girl thats gonna put him 1st
While I'm wide awake he's got no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos he's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven
One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven
You got her heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.
The script - breakeven.

Incredulous.

My mums back. Thank God. I'm sick of screaming at my sis to clean up. My mum can now resume her duties.



Panic attack! Is it really happening? Somehow being hit on is so surreal.


Its not just me and my overly active imagination, right?


Why me? Seriously. No one else ah?...



*This post was posted during a period of total insanity.
Keep out of reach of children.
Choking hazard.


Amy.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Pics!

I'm really bored. I've nothing to do. Honestly. Well, there are chores to finish but we'll just pretend they're invisible.



Just some random pics.

My uncles b'day cake. The theme was Hawaii 50.

On the way there. Boredom got to us.


Helium balloons! My pavrito! [favourite]

I'll post some more later lah.
Lazy amy.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Football, football. I love thee.

Common misconception = Girls dont like football.
The right concept = I like football. Who gives a damn about the rest of you?


So here are 11 of the hottest players in international football. Leave a comment if you disagree with me, k.



10. Freddy Ljungberg, Sweden. Former Arsenal player.




9. Jonny Evans, Nothern Ireland. MU. Bluek.




8. Carlos Bocanegra, USA.
Currently playing for Stade Rennais, France.
Formerly at Fulham.




7. Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal. Currently at MU.
I know what you're thinking.
Why is he 7th?
Its cause I dont like him.




6. David Beckham, England.
Currently at LA Galaxy.
Jan 7 = AC Milan, on loan.




5. Fabio Cannavaro, Italy.
Currently at Real Madrid.




4. Yoann Gourcuff, France.
Currently at Bordeaux,
on loan from AC Milan.




3. Victor Valdes, Spain.
Currently at Barcelona.

2. Robin van Persie, Netherlands.
Currently at Arsenal.



1. Lukas Podolski, Michael Ballack, Germany.
Lukas is at Bayern Munich.
Michael is at the best club ever, Chelsea.














































































































































































































































































































































Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I'm scaring the crap outta me.

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you were diagnosed with cancer?



I'm just curious. I dont even know how I would react. I guess I would tell no one. I hate sympathy. Thats just me.



Ok, never mind that sudden whim. It was a mere thought.


Oh yeah, everyone, I have not gone totally insane. I'm just not sitting for my finals. Dont ask me why but I just refuse to sit for the rest of it. I will sit for the papers that I like and nothing more. I will come one Wednesday, Thursday, Monday and Wednesday and Friday. Thats it.


Its not a waste of tuition or anything, its just that due to recent events, I have been going unarmed in the exam battlefield. I dont like that feeling. I'm still gonna study, yes, but I'm just not gonna be tested. And I have absolutely nothing to lose, as I'm gonna be in the same class next year. That is something no one can alter.


Call it an intuition if you must, but my heart is set on my decision and my mind obeys without resistance.


I'm not crazy,
I'm just a little unwell,
I know, right now you can't tell,
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see,
A different side of me.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired,
I know, right now you don't care,
But soon enough you're gonna think of me,
And how I used to be,
Me.



I've got other things on my mind, and how much can this hurt me anyways.


The time has come for change.
I dont wanna be the same old, same old.
I wanna be just who I am right now.
Everything just seems so clear.
Am I having the clarity I longed for when everything was shrouded in misery?
Is this what I want?
I want to be able to live without second-guessing myself.
To do that, would be the greatest thing I have ever achieved.
I think I should.
To hell with your opinion.
Its.my.opinion.that.matters.and.not.yours.



Miss Independant.
oh, yeah.