Its not easy to be me.

Hmm.. Have you ever had anyone pressure you to become someone you dont wanna be?

I'm going through it. Right now.

So, my great grandma thinks I should be a doctor because journalism is a feckin waste of time. So she says. She doesnt know how much it means to me. I finally have a passion, a desire to do something I'm really interested in, and then she says this. But then, why am I not surprised. Oh yeah. She does it all the time. It was my sister's first holy communion in church, its like a big event ok. For those who dont know. So yeah, for the mass I wore a lace red top, with a black tank top inside. It wasnt black, black. But when I came home, she narrowed her eyes at me and said, ''Amy its such a big day for your sister and yet you have to wear black.''

I'm not that naive.

I wont do as you wish, for servitude is not what I asked for when I came to this world.

Yeah, well its my sisters big feckin day, NOT MINE. Which part of that dont you get. And for the dinner, I purposely wore a black dress with dark eye shadow and stuff. She looked at me and shook her head, and I couldnt have cared less. Then she went to my mom, saying, ''Anne, what is this ah, why cant Amy wear a nice white dress or some bright and cheerful colour.'' My mom didnt say anything. Coz she knows what would happen if she agreed with my great grandma. I would have skipped the dinner entirely. Feckin irritating man. I dont wanna interfere lah. Its my sisters day, why should I wear white. Do you wear white for a wedding, no right. What the feckin hell is your problem. Not every single Tom, Dick and Harry is bright and cheerful all the feckin time ok. So happens that I dont wanna look like feckin Bozo the clown by wearing feckin bright colours.

I dont wanna be who you want me to be, damn it.

Ish. Damn pissing off. She ruined my entire night. And yeah, she feels, very strongly, mind you, that I should take biology, so that I can become a doctor. I didnt tell her that I took accounts this whole year coz I knew she would have said something. Not that I give a damn but its starting to get on my nerves. She wants me to be a feckin doctor. She said it has always been her dream to have a doctor in the family. Well, why cant someone else be the doctor?. Why must it always be me?. Why must I always be the scapegoat in all your evil feckin plans that you think up endlessly while sitting and moaning about your pathetic life. Argh. I'm sick and tired already lah. If only I didnt love my great grandpa so much, I would have enjoyed telling her that not every moron in the world desires to be a doctor.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Didnt work. I'm still pissed off. Geez. Now, I'm gonna go piss her off my dragging my feet when I walk. She hates that. Muahahahahahahha. Then I'm gonna sing some song with all foul words in it. The, I'm gonna slurp as I drink my soup. Then I'm gonna hunch while walking. And then, last but not least, I'm gonna sit like a lazy sloth and slide down the chair. Sigh. Now, I'm happy.

Ciao.

.amylynnrebelliousnathan.